
Together they challenge hopelessness
René's background in serious gang crime and Danyella's roots in the church have given them unique opportunities to break perspectives against each other. Providing belonging, unconditional love and hope for the future has become their common tool in the fight for people whose surroundings have often given up hope and see the odds of change as non-existent.
René Lobos sits alone in a security cell, in the security section of a detention center somewhere in Sweden. The cell is empty, except for a bed, so that he cannot use the furniture to harm himself.
A small food hatch is opened from time to time when meals are served. If he behaves himself, René is allowed to take a shower every other day, but repeated breaches of the rules often make the air feel stuffy.
An outreach worker called Pia knocks on the door, then squats down next to René to talk. She sees through the tough exterior and the criminal background and wants to know who he really is. And what his dreams are.
- Pia was the first adult I met who did not come from above. She chose to go into this inhospitable security cell, to come down to my level and talk to me where I was. I was stressed, but she was the one who made me decide to leave the criminal life," says René Lobos today.
In 2015, René commits his last serious crime. He is arrested and lies on the ground with his hands tied behind his back. A police officer sitting next to him pats him reassuringly and then kindly says: "It's going to be okay now".
"How can you say that?" René thinks, but he's about to get the answer. If he hadn't been caught this time, he wouldn't have been able to meet the prison pastor.
- He was the only person in the prison I liked to talk to. He was sworn to secrecy," Rene explains with a smile.
- I had sleep paranoia and was full of anxiety but when the prison chaplain visited me, played guitar and prayed, it was as if we left that cramped cell and a presence of God filled us. I had never felt so free before. Before, when I felt grief coming and wanted to cry, a tantrum came instead. Now I could cry.

Before I met René, I was very judgmental. I wondered how anyone could become a criminal in Sweden, given all the support and opportunities available. I grew up in a bubble, with security and church
Danyella comes from a very different world. She has a Christian background where her father is now a pastor. She came to Sweden with her parents and two sisters and then had three more sisters in Sweden.
- The church became central to us as a family, we were there almost every day - Sunday and weekday. At the age of 15, I had a personal experience of God for the first time," says Danyella, who then realized that she was called by God.
When her parents came to Sweden in 1985, their marriage was on the brink of collapse.
- They hoped to salvage their relationship by moving to Sweden' but it didn't work out, she says.
- My father was an atheist and lived mostly for money, while my mother, in her desperation, started going to a church where she was saved. "Then my father also became curious and joined the church," Danyella continues.
In the church, her father also found faith in Jesus. In return, he got a saved marriage. René and Danyella first met in a church in Stockholm around 2007. At the time, René had no idea who God was and didn't understand grace or why God would want to forgive. Nine years later they met again.
- In 2016, I met Danyella in Hillsong after I was baptized. She recognized me, came up with her sister and said hello. "Oh yes, that's her!" I thought.
They soon became a couple, bringing two very different worlds together.
- Before I met René, I was very judgmental. I wondered how anyone could become a criminal in Sweden, given all the support and opportunities available. I grew up in a bubble, with security and church," says Danyella.
- Then I started to realize that conditions can be missing when people's childhood has been completely destroyed. I saw a completely different side of Sweden and realized that some people are never included in our country. Not even in the church," she adds.
Danyella is a trained sales engineer and worked for a while in the brewing industry, focusing on chasing numbers and profits.
- "When I saw the morals, the ethics and what was happening behind the façade, I said 'No, I don't want that life'. I started doing social work instead and discovered that there is no salary in the world that compares to the compensation you get when you can help another human being," she says.
- I also discovered that grace and love change people. I have learned today to believe in people who do not even believe in themselves. It has been a battle within me, but I wouldn't trade a day of my current work for what I was doing before. I am so grateful. We get to walk in God's power, in God's understanding and not in our own power which is limited.
Going back in time, the year after Danyella's parents arrived in Sweden, René, barely a year old, also arrived with his mother. His father had moved from Chile the year before, with the aim of creating a better life for the family in this country. The will was there, but not the conditions.
- My father struggled with addiction, had a lot of self-loathing and had difficulty loving himself. He numbed his pain and anxiety with alcohol and drugs, which led him to destroy everything in his path," explains René.
His father was a death-metal rocker, practiced dark magic and turned to Satanism.
- My mother left her language, her country, her roots and her family and worked two jobs in Sweden to make the family's finances work," he continues thoughtfully.
She managed for a while. In 1992, she and the children left René's father, but the dysfunctional relationship continued.
- Mom was extremely codependent. I myself blamed her for not staying with my father. Even though everyday life had been filled with violence, drugs and crime, I still looked up to him," says René, who turned to criminals in his search for a father figure.
- I learned early on to lie and to defend my family and my father. I was afraid of losing what I had. When I numbed my anxiety with food, I was then bullied at school because I was so big and had dark hair.
René liked horror movies, which were characterized by darkness and demons.
- I had grown up in fear, I was drawn to the dark, because it was the only thing I knew.
One day, René got into a fight at school and had an outburst where all his rage came out. The violent fight led to him making friends, suddenly he was seen and respected. René eventually moved in with his father, as that was all he wanted.
- It was a disaster. I was only 16 when I started working with my father, who was already deeply involved in crime. My father was my first partner in crime. The crimes then got worse, worse and worse.
Because they took place at night, he couldn't cope with school during the day and dropped out.
In 2010, René was introduced to a gang by his father.
- When I met them, I faced darkness upon darkness upon darkness. It was disgusting, yet I was sucked into it and a few months later I became a gang leader. For the first time in my life, my father expressed pride in me. It took 26 years.
In 2013, his father became ill with cancer. Sitting alone at his deathbed, Renés wanted him to say sorry so that he could apologize for his regrets.
- I demanded an apology but got none. Instead, he instructed me on various crimes. Then when my father died, things went black. I began to abuse in a way that was demonic. I talked to demons during my intoxication, no one wanted anything to do with me.
- My father's death led me to take the step towards faith in Jesus. Only later did I find out that my father had been saved before he died," René adds gratefully.

Hillsong organized a meeting at Clara Church, a church where René's father had helped distribute soup to homeless people. During the worship, René had the same feeling as when the prison pastor sang and played guitar in his cell.
Photo: Private
The meeting with the outreach worker, the police and the prison chaplain at the beginning of this article would be key events in René's path to redemption. His mother was also to play a key role in the change of path itself. Although there was a lot going on at home that shouldn't have been, his mother kept pictures of Jesus on the cross in her apartment. "What kind of God is mom worshipping with all she has to go through?" René thought, and soon developed an aversion to God.
Once free after deciding to leave the criminal life, René still had panic attacks, despite having six different coaches and several programs to help him become drug-free. Then his mother called and said: "I found a church."
It was not the first. She had visited countless churches, from the Catholic Church to Jehovah's Witnesses, but this time she was insistent. The argument that clinched it for René was: "Come with me for an hour, then I'll buy you dinner".
It was Hillsong that organized the meeting at Clara Church, a church where René's father, in the midst of his own darkness, had helped distribute soup to homeless people. During the worship, René felt the same emotion as when the prison pastor sang and played guitar in his cell.
At the end of the meeting, the question was asked: "Do you want to receive this love from Jesus". After an inner struggle, René raised his hand as a sign. He describes the dramatic moment himself:
- My tears are flowing. I cry, cry and cry. I had never cried with relief before. Something in my chest disappeared. The panic attacks of the evening were gone. I saw my mom and my sister with new eyes. I wanted to apologize to everyone.
To understand the target group, Danyella changed jobs seven years ago to get closer to those she wanted to help. She would get really close because she started in an SIS home, which was a tough environment even then. René was a bit apprehensive when his wife took the plunge.
- Sitting in an office in the city center and then jumping over to start working at SIS was a really big step. "This could be hard" I thought. She could have started as a contact person or something like that, but she jumped right in where everything happens," he says.
Danyella describes how SIS staff are now on their knees like never before. The most important goal now is to keep the girls alive so they don't kill themselves. That's why they are kept locked up and isolated.
- Unfortunately, that's how it looks today," she says.
In the spring of 2019, René became the contact person for Betz Assefa, who had been a serious criminal for 20 years. At the time, Danyella was best friends with Betz's younger sister, while René and Betz had known each other for years. Betz had also been on Rene's and his friend's prayer list - unaware of each other - for some time. Rene describes his friend as lost, angry, hurt, vengeful and weak.
- He was filled with anger and had a dark and empty look in his eyes, he recalls.
Betz Assefa himself describes how he felt:
- I had a mask of being violent and outgoing to avoid showing my vulnerability. With the Lobos family, I met an unconditional, genuine love that wanted me well. I had not been prepared before to see and receive this love and help. They felt safe with me and what made me really accept help this time was that I saw that they had no ulterior motives," says Betz.
- René said: "Brother, I know how hard it is for you. Come home to my family and we'll sort it out". I stayed with them for three months. I saw his new life and realized that the transformation he had experienced was possible because he accepted the help that was around him.
- I was reassured that it was important to accept help and surround myself with people who want to help you. René encouraged me all the time: "I think this will be fine...This will work." I trusted him. René helped me with everything even though I was skeptical myself. I saw myself as a hopeless case just waiting to die," says Betz Assefa.
- They did not give up. I slept on their comfy couch for three months, playing with the kids and cooking while we dreamed of a future where we would serve God together.
In 2019, Rene and Danyella started working with the police and social authorities on defector activities. They have helped other organizations with their knowledge of the target group, but started their own business a year ago to be able to focus on the target group and not just run the business for the money. They have seen what works and what doesn't work when helping people who have lost their way.
Starting this fall, through their company Parakletoz (parakletoz.com), they have been commissioned by Heart of Evangelism to step up the work of helping people out of a destructive lifestyle. They will recruit contact persons around Sweden and also channel people to the Heart Center in Stockholm where there are programs, lectures and activities. Ultimately, they see job training in companies, family homes and shelters.
Danyella will also be attached to the House of Mercy, the support home for young women in Östervåla. While she works administratively, with accounting and finance, René often meets with municipalities, companies, churches and associations, and gives lectures on how to work with the target group. He also has a lot of contact with the police.
- We will be working a lot on contact management in the beginning. Often it is not the family itself that is the problem, but it is the young person who, for various reasons, has ended up on the wrong track. Then we work to guide the family, describe what codependency is and focus on the child being able to return to the family.
What are the keys to help people get to freedom?
- Security and relationships, having a community where you can trust those around you. And where those around them stand by them when they fail," explains Danyella.
- Employment is also crucial, otherwise young people will just sit at home. "Starting to dream about the future is another key," she continues, citing several striking examples of people who have risen from the ashes and now hold responsible positions in society.
- When I read their papers and see their criminal background, I often think: "This is not the same person I know now".
Both René and Danyella emphasize the importance of entrepreneurs having the courage to hire people who want to leave a destructive lifestyle.
- We can vouch for people there, we can show that they have been doing well for a year. You don't need a big company in the first place, but a big heart. Chopping wood in the countryside can be great when you can't be in Stockholm," says René, describing how some young people need to learn to live a normal life in general.
- They don't know how to hang laundry, cook rice, how a stove works, how to change TV channels. When they can't do something that's obvious, they feel stupid and it's easy to become frustrated and aggressive. The reason they can't do it is often because no one has seen them or had the patience to teach them," he explains.
René also describes how exercise and physical activity reduce anxiety and frustration, boost motor skills and remove withdrawal symptoms.
It is also about finding the root of the problems when crime, drugs, poor social interaction, mental illness and codependency are intertwined. "When someone becomes rabid, aggressive and starts using profanity, it's important to peel back the layers, understand what happened and get to the root cause," he says.
- These can be wounds from difficult events or behaviors and habits that have haunted the family for generations. It is important to work on these wounds so that they do not get worse. If you are broken inside, a crash will come eventually. "I myself stopped committing crimes and got employment, a driving license and education, but I also needed to work on myself, my attitudes and behaviors," René explains.
- Parents must also learn to understand their children. You may have hurt them without realizing it. Or you may have been unfair and given another sibling more attention. An absent father is often a cause of problems. As a father, I may have given them everything, but not given them time.
- I myself had a hard time when Christians talked about their father in heaven because I had a completely different idea of what a father is. I sought my father role among criminals. The key was to get to know God as a father who loves me," René explains.
What can churches and individuals do to reach out to this target group?
- Those who have been Christians for a long time can affirm those who come, be like a father and a mother. We want to give tools so that they can get involved. They need to approach, get to know them in a healthy way and dare to believe that God can do the work in them. Some want to work but are not clear about themselves and do not understand the target group. We are a resource in that process," says René, and Danyella agrees:
- I don't have that background, but I am myself and I offer myself. It's about getting closer and being genuine. My security is René, he knows the target group," she says.
Danyella looks for families who can take in people as family homes or who can be contact persons.
- Being a contact person means being a role model but also knowing what they actually need help with. Being a contact person means seeing every step and asking why the problems have arisen. If we don't try to understand people, we won't be able to help them," she concludes.
Text: Ruben Agnarsson
Photo: Rickard Eriksson