Oron was changed to peace
Even as a very young child, Adriana Baseki experienced inner turmoil. She had an emptiness that seemed to eat her up from the inside and she soon began a quest to fill this void. Adriana was just 12 years old when her addiction began. At first it was light drugs, but by the age of 16 Adriana was already hooked on heavy heroin use and was also selling heroin to support her own addiction. She soon switched drugs and turned to cocaine. As her addiction got worse, the emptiness and darkness became even more pronounced.
- I felt like I was spiritually dead. Today I realize how numb I became from the drugs, how cold I had become as a person.I had to adaptto the world I lived in in order to survive," says Adriana.
The anxiety she experienced is difficult to describe today. Over the years, it grew into a panic, a constant struggle to breathe, a struggle to live.
- I couldn't stop taking the drugs because I had to constantly anesthetize myself with something," says Adriana, who is now is 34 years old.
She was stuck in an addiction for 19 long years. And it only got worse and worse, with trauma, PTSD, growing feelings of hopelessness and despair. AS A YOUTH, ADRIANA also had to live in SIS homes.
- Locking someone up is not exactly a solution to the problems I had," she says she says today.
- I tried to stop the drugs sometimes, but nothing worked. No treatments helped and social services could not do anything. When she was 23, Adriana became a mother. She thought that maybe life would change, but it only worked for a few months.
She still remembers the guilt and shame she felt when she was unable to be a mother to her child.
- I had to hand her over to my mother," says Adriana, describing the the fear she had at the thought that this would never be good.
- I realized that I also had fears about taking control of my life and entering society. What kind of life did you dream of during this period?
- It was not often that I dared to dream. I remember well remember that when I was just over 20 years old I thought this is going to be my life. I realized that I will probably die very young because of the heroin and cocaine addiction and when I was mixing drugs.
- I had probably somewhere accepted that I had maybe ten more years and that it had to be that. It was almost like I had given up that it was going to be something else. I had to hold on until it ended.
What was the turning point?
- I was saved three years ago. A few years before I was saved I lived a heavy and hard life where the darkness became demonic. It was so palpable, so overwhelmingly hard. I couldn't could not imagine that one could feel so bad and that such evil existed as I had to experience in the last few years.
AT SOME POINT ADRIANA KNEW that God existed, but she had no idea what he could do in her life, and how big and powerful he is.
- In the last years of my addiction, the darkness was so palpable that I could see and touch it. Then I realized that if this darkness exists, then God exists too," she says.
- That's what kept me going. I started to distance myself from some things and developed a compassion towards others and a desire to be a better person.
This process clashed with the environment Adriana was in. In a way, it only got worse. She could no longer support her addiction, nor could she support herself.
- I was coming out of the dark, but I was lost in a gray area, which was almost worse than having chosen sides. I was still looking for God in all this. I realized that he exists and that he was with me, precisely because I started to feel different inside. "Maybe there is maybe there is a way out," I thought. And when I looked for him he answered.
Adriana describes how the light that came into her life pushed away the darkness.
- Darkness is powerful, but God's power is so much more powerful. His light is so much more powerful. All the shame and guilt that I had been carrying was gone. Guilt and shame are some of the heaviest emotions to carry, but God took it away completely. completely. Everything I had been chasing after my whole life was suddenly just there. He filled me completely with his Spirit," explains Adriana today.
After a while, she was also able to forgive people and events because she realized that God has forgiven her for everything.
- I could see that people who hurt me are bound under darkness just like I was. Old thoughts of revenge are no longer exist, gratitude has taken over and then there is no place for bitterness.
- For I have been vindicated with God's help, with all the blessings that he has given me and continues to give. There is a love and understanding in me today that makes me want to wholeheartedly dedicate my life to helping others and showing them the way to freedom.
WHEN ADRIANA STARTED HEARING God's voice, she was a little scared at first. Even feeling good was a little strange.
- I remember him saying to me: "I am with you, I have a new life waiting for you".
The first step for Adriana to leave her old life was a halfway house for addicts. Someone then took her to the Hearts Second Hand shop in Haninge where she got an internship.
- There I was welcomed with open arms. I experienced such love, there was no judgment and I could be I started to grow as a person, says Adriana, who after job training also got a job.
- I was helped with everything in the contact with the community, they helped me with every step.
Adriana Baseki at Heart Second Hand in Haninge, with the manager Patrik Fållsten.
An important event for Adriana was when she got her own accommodation.
- To this day I cannot understand it. I am so thankful, every day I am thankful. God has great plans if you walk with him, you can't even imagine it.
Eventually, Adriana started attending services at Heart Stockholm and now it has been almost three years
since she left drugs. She is part of the team as a volunteer and helps with the children's church and Bible school.
- I have a purpose in life. My life has become good, but with Heart I have the opportunity to also
help others. It is really a dream for me. It is such a joy to be able to help others who have been in the same situation as me. To give them hope that there is a way out and that God is there.
What are you dreaming about today?
- To be honest, I have no big dreams. I have already had my biggest dream fulfilled, something I didn't even dare to dream about: I have found peace. I have never had peace. Never. Today there is total peace in here. So I guess my dream is to continue to be active in Heart and really reach out to people to give them hope and in a way help others.